You never imagined that it would take place to you. But here you are right now, having to make the most significant choice of your life.
Whatever events lead to the state of your marriage virtual counseling as it is right now, they don’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters right now is that you need to resolve your marital issues. You want your family to stay together more than anything, but you need a practical answer.
The majority of individuals believe that marital counseling is the sole option when marriages start to fail.
But, the emphasis is on conduct, activity, and doing when you seek out marriage counseling. In fact, it’s very possible that you may follow all the advice your marriage counselor gave you and still end up dissatisfied and frustrated with one another. Why?
Mark Gung or, a pastor and specialist on international marriage virtual counseling, provides one of the best responses I’ve ever seen. He offers a great point that we don’t often hear. He stated, “If your view of marriage is wrong, all the energy and strategy you are using—such as, “Our marriage will be better if we simply do this or change that”—will fail. You must work on your marriage BECAUSE you feel it IS worthwhile, not because you are attempting to make it valuable.
Did you realize that the majority of marital counselors don’t think your union is worth saving? Why would people consider your marriage to be more valuable than their own when many of them have already filed for divorce?
They think that marriage is just a waste of time and that raising children is okay. They are quick to give up on your marriage since they believe that not all couples are intended to be together.
I am aware that I am generalizing about ALL marriage counselors and that there are some “renegade” marriage counselors who do not adhere to these principles. Nevertheless, these counselors are hard to find based on the innumerable “horror stories” from the couples I’ve dealt with over the years.
Which “horror stories,” I hear you ask? A good query.
Many of the couples I’ve dealt with over the years who attended marital counseling revealed to me that their marriage counselor really recommended them to DIVORCE! I realize this may be hard to believe.
These couples went to marriage therapy because they wanted to save their marriage, not because they wanted to hear from a “guru” that it was doomed!
In fact, according to current statistics, 80% of marriages that end in divorce may have been spared if the couple had just gotten the right support they required.
And as time goes on…while our divorce rate stays at 50%, the truth about marriage therapy is gradually coming to light as new marriage counseling alternatives start to appear online everywhere.
Now, you need to ask yourself the REAL question.
What hope is there for your marriage if the two of you don’t think it IS valuable and worth doing everything you can to restore its health (marriage counseling isn’t on the list)?
Couples seek help from marital counselors because they need someone to help them do what they are unable to do—believe their marriage is worthwhile. Almost every couple who has visited a marriage counselor will agree when you speak with them.
Unfortunately, most marriage counselors don’t think that marriage itself IS valuable.
The bottom line is that marriage counselors need to examine their high failure rate and acknowledge that they are causing more harm than good.
In the end, it’s possible that their early education and training are the real causes of their inability to preserve relationships.
The majority of individuals are unaware that marriage counseling isn’t what is taught in universities. It is individual therapy.
Only 12% of marriage counselors in private practice in the United States work in a field that requires them to complete even one course on working with couples, despite the fact that 80% of them claim to conduct marriage therapy (Dr. William J. Doherty, Minneapolis MN)
As a result, they favor working with each individual rather than a couple.